Are we having fun yet? Feels like today is a good day to pull up a chair and talk about Project Athena. Ok, it will be me talking amongst myselves and you listening in.
Sometimes I feel like I am walking a razor's edge as a creative being. I am attempting to create for the audience appeal and to not really care about the audience and create from that passionate place of pure veritable expression. This project keeps me bouncing back and forth, noticing when I fall into the trap of wanting approval and when I rebel against the conventions.
As a graphic designer, I have been trained to please the client, even when it goes against my sense of beauty or balance or allure. It is hard for me to break the habit of pleasing others. At times, I may have some influence over a client's choices but ultimately, their vision is being brought to life through my technical skills. I recognize that I could make a living as a photographer in the exact manner I that I do as a designer, if I choose...For hire....satisfying a client's wishes....technically skilled....studio work. It's not that this is a bad path. It is a good path for many. And it may even be part of my path at some point.
AND
This project continues to help me get more and more focused, no pun intended. I am clear that I want to create from a different place this time. I simply have to trust that being true to my own creative process and expressing my true essence is already appealing and marketable. So with this faith, I am open to pursuing the field of fine art photography. Even as I write these words, I can feel the fear in my gut. But I just can't pretend to be waffling when in my heart of hearts I know what I want. It's good to say it out loud. And to commit to facing any fears or obstacles that might keep me from going for what I truly want.
Swaha.
