World Traveler Returns from Russia

Alas, this world traveler has returned from Moscow with good news that a new peace treaty between the Ukraine and Russia may be possible once Russia gets everything they want including more land, oil, and subjects. Mr. Cabbage Patch refused to comment on whether or not he believes Putin is suffering from Asperger’s syndrome but noted that the Russian Dictator...oops....President, couldn't remember how to sing "Imagine" in English and seemed to drift off someplace far, far away, like Chernobyl, whenever the negotiations were not going his way.

Mr. Cabbage Patch was pleased with what he called his "much needed successful comeback" as a negotiator, subtly referring to his unpopularity in the mid 1980's in toy stores around the U.S. When asked if he felt a Nobel Peace Prize might be in his future, he simply looked upward to the stars and stuck out his front tooth.