I get it. The addiction to gambling I mean. Spending the day in Blackhawk with my family, I felt my true self begin to fade away and some distorted reality begin to take over...a different definition of "vanishing point."
It's an odd experience to feed money (energy) into a machine, observe the emotional fluctuations within myself, build hope on some random poker hand, and be sucked in by the occasional successes. I guess gambling once every five years or so offers some perspective on life. Had I walked away with lots of money, I think the perspective would be different and the new camera ordered. Honestly, I am glad it didn't happen that way as I am acutely aware that my commitment to my path is based on a deeper conviction than luck of the draw.
My big win for the day was taking this picture and time with my family.